I am hurting..... i need advice!!! Bullying; false claims made against me...

[annes83]

I'm being falsely accused of other things which are being blown out of proportion. Every day types of mistakes are being carefully documented and held against me, as if I'm under surveillance, like "big brother" is watching. This is so very disheartening, and hurtful. I am a new nurse of one year. I've been here nine months on this job, . I am the "new kid" and not part of the established clique..... I have not ever felt welcomed. Nor have I felt supported. so sad on so many levels. And my patients and their families adore me, I cherish the moments spent w/ these folks. Why the animosity??? I just don't get this! The other team members support me... the doctors, NP's , SW's, housekeeping, dietary, volunteers, chaplains, everyone. The aide, CNA who works right w/ me gets along great w/ me. Another couple of mature nurses across the building and opposite rotations are fine, but this established pack of bullies ..... tattlers, esp the charge nurse, the LPN, (i'm an RN and she seems angry w/ me, I dont' know why?) the other CNA's , they have a mean streak against me..... backstabbers

[Eeducator]

Sorry to hear about your experience. Its hard to work in an environment when you don't get along with your co-workers. I would suggest to ask yourself "is it really worth it?" If you feel that you are being wrongly accused and they have absolutely no grounds to be saying these things than I would look for another job. If you love the job, then you need to try to find a way to get along with people. That means really looking at the situation, critiquing your behavior and making some changes.
I hope things work out for you.

[oldntiredRN]

Unfortunantly, I regret to say, that is nursing. Not such a wonderful profession( excuse me, it's not a profession- professionals wouldn't behave like that) After 32 years, and having been on the recepient end of that myself- I still don't have an answer. I would really like to know the point of there behavior- when they get rid of you, why? are they waiting for their favorite movie star to apply for the position, do they have a relative that wants the position, a BFF that wants the position? I don't see what their point is. Does it help they sleep at night? Nursing if filled with ugly broads- young and old, and every peice of crap in between.
I can tell you this, if they do sometihing really big to you- like cost you your job and you see them on the outside and you say hello, how are you? They run like He**. I have had that happen also. I saw this one dopey LPN how did similar things to me. They succeeded- I was terminated, It was one of these deals- "it wasn't what you said but how you said it" I saw this LPN one day afew years later in a store, I attempted to say hello to her- she ran like a rabbit out of the store, That's call guilt and cowardis. So it happens all the time, that's why nurses have such long resumes- the bullying, imaturity and sheer uglyness of other nurses.

[annes83]

Thank you for the comments. I have taken some time to self- evaluate, assess my behavior as Eeducator suggested. Those are good words. I must accept my portion for what has happened; I am willing to do that. I appologized. The opposing party looked at me with the most undescribable look I have ever seen..... it was as if I had perhaps triggered into bad memories or something. Whatever, SOMETHING is going on with this person that has nothing to do with me. The look she gave me was frightening, and eery, dark and quite uncomfortable. I don't think she will accept my appology, but I must get past it and not hold a grudge.

And yes, oldntiredRN, your sound, sage words echo those of another of your kind of whom I have confided. I do not want to make waves. I want to do my job and do it well. When I make mistakes, I will be held accountable, take action to correct, and then get past it. I am needing to move on...... away from this drama. I have other options in the works. Back to work tomorrow for the first time since this incident and "write up" took place...... in the door w/ a smile on my face...... waiting for that important call/email from xyz saying La la la!!!

[Eeducator]

Nice job! You took the higher road. I imagine that the reaction you got was one of shock because like you said, they have issues themselves, or they didn't think that you would take that kind of action. I'm proud of you. You never know, maybe this will be a step in a direction of a better work environment for all. Here is to hoping anyway!! Best wishes to you.

[ZuziRN]

Nurseakin... sad I would like to tell you that IT IS NOT DONE, yet. As you describe it..and the soul pain that you put on your writing, for me let me think to an poisoned work environment, with people from long time there, whom grew up on cliques and with a WEAK screw up management on place. When you put down a new graduate and make her life a mess, instead to groom her up and support....that is a mess, bullshit and will keep going on this way because was started on this way.

Search for a new job ASAP, you need to stay happy, keep your clean nursing soul unpoisoned with them screw-up minds. Search for a place where even you are not fitted at less they ARE PROFESSIONAL, they will accept you and they will treat you on a PROFESSIONAL WAY for new graduate, without put you down. You will be OK, keep your head up...search for a good place, as much you stay as miserable you will fell....IS THEM STYLE!

[oldntiredRN]

nurseakin- I would advise for you to start scoping out the other jobs, check all the job boards, careerbuilders. Get a feel for how much they want you to have for other positions. You have to consider this: how far can you go with 9 months experience. Hold off making a move until you get that blessed experience and then make your move out of that environment. It sound like most jobs want at least 1 year of experience, that would be 3 months for you to stick it out with this group of wing dings. Don't antgonize them but try to survive them for a few more months until you get what you need to be marketable.
It is behavior like you describe of this bunch of "groupies"( because fithy names are not to be posted) that keeps nursing down and will never allow it to be a real profession. The sooner nursing starts to get rid of it's toxic behavior, the bettr it will be. To say that this goes on in other professions is an excuse not to fix this ugliness. When was the last time you say a lawyer or a doctor acting like that group???Lawyers may oppose each other in the court room and compete for clients but ever talk aboutone lawyer to another lawyer- I have, in my divorce and the associated court dram wthat went along with it. They NEVER speak against each other. I referred to my ex-husband's lawyer as " Jim Bob- the Hilbilly" to my lawyer- I was quickly slapped down by my lawyer- her quik comeback was, my ex's lawyer was an excellent attorney and very well respected.( in other words my attorney was not going to tolerate me talking about my ex's jack*** lawyer) How about them apples- coming from some one your paying $2,700/mo torepresent you??? Try making a few comments about a doctor to his partners. See how far you get. - that is my point about nursing and the pack of hyenias you work with. They are real low lives. Unfotunantly these hyenias are all over. They need to be purged from nursing along with others like them. and the CNA's don't count- they don't have liceses so why do we constantly include them in the "nursing" profession. They are not "professionals". High school education- at best.
Seeing the behavior I have witnessed over the past 32 year, I have lost sooooo much respect for Nursing. And it all starts with the kind of behavior you described. From there it goes down hill all the way to allowing these business tycoons, CEO and financial officers to be butting into our professional pratice and telling us how to do it. They tell us how to practice and butt in every time they take their pens and cut our staffing numbers.Yes, I kow there is a budget. But I also know they have not cut their salaries or their business workforce. Their prioity is themselves and what keeps the money i their salaries=pockets and makes their word easier, not the patient's. They could care less about those patients. They all pee and moan about Obama care and the CMS and have the media tooting their pathetic greedy cause and painting Obamacare out to be the bad guy only when you look at it deeper- how much has the CEO cut of their own salary to cut healthcare costs. There are many veil going on in healthcare/nursing. Then you have the Cheif nursing officers who lay flat on their backs and let this crap comtinue. Smiling for dumb faced pictures in magazines for their protions while the rest of us are being bullyied to the unemployment line.Trust me- I could go on and on.This profession of ours is something else. Many years ago, I heard one old surgeon tell one of these CNO's to take her chacha shoes off, put on a pair of nursing shoes and get to work.

[amygarside]

I am sorry for your experience. It is somehow still unexplainable why some people prefer to bully others in order to feel better about themselves. I would like to say that it will be all right but in reality, there will be people like this. All we can do is to take the higher road and be the better person.

[ollenburgerap]

Some specialty units are very hard to work in because they don't tolerate change and some groups of women are just plain mean gossips. If you havn't made any dangerous judgement errors, then understand "there is nothing wrong with you". Now get out of there before they hurt your reputation and career. I know I couldn't work under a microscope.

[annes83]

Thanks, Ollenburgerap. No, I've given this plenty of time. I'm not angry over it, just cautious and watching my back. I don't care to work in a setting where I can't trust. I'm preparing to leave and have some good leads, and no, I have not made any dangerous judgement errors. Thanks for sound advice..... getting out as soon as possible...

[annes83]

thanks, amygarside.... in this life many things will happen where we will never know why; but what I must do is say "What?" "What will I do with this situation? " I will not allow others' inappropriate behavior, even unethical actions to bring me down. I would rather direct my efforts and energy toward being a productive nurse and thriving in my practice. I want to grow in my knowledge and gain experience and build confidence. Having experiences like this one is the reality, like you and others have pointed out. ...... and to think that these people hold patients' lives in their hands. my, my my....

[annes83]

wow!!! thanks, oldtired!!! so much to think about~

[Imisj]

Aww...maybe you shouldnt think about it as being bullied. I know it can be hurtful, but once youre able to gain some sort of tolerance you will be able to face any kind of unfairness, or that torment by other people. you said youre the new kid right? Its ok, youll get through this, take it as a learning experience.

[rjcb]

So sorry to hear this. There is a lot of good advise already offered. I agree that this is, unfortunately, a real part of nursing. It is a nasty "profession" filled with women who still act like junior high school girls. I don't know how to change the dynamics but I think it is because a majority of nurses HATE nursing but feel stuck. I have nursed since 1977 and didn't see/experience the bullying until I moved to the East coast in 2003. Where I worked before was wonderful - a team spirit, helpful, we often went out together after work. So I don't know if it is a geographical or demographical issue.

Most importantly, look for another job ASAP - or another unit. I do think there has been a shift in societies' values and morals. Bullying is very common. What about this idea - I would draft a very thought-through letter to the DON and the state nursing board and the anti-discrimination office. Document everything. There are units in hospitals that are know for being incredibly dysfunctional (and it usually can be traced to a highly dysfunctional unit manager who tolerates this abysmal behavior).

[Jhawka19]

Its sad but true, school girl antics... And management is not any better - perhaps even worse. So few leaders out there and so few who are willing to take a stand (or even live their lives) for what is truly right. We always talk about loving (treat) one another the way we would like to be treated.

Sadly enough with this reality , this is a bad year for me on this issue and I have lost a lot of hope on people in general. My beliefs have always been to serve. Getting the shaft from others time and time again is sadly wearing on me lately.